How joint family operates in reality: it's dynamics and impact on kids, relationship and homes
How joint family operates in reality: it's dynamics and impact on kids, relationship and homes
The blind rejection of ancient lifestyle has created gigantic ripples in modern days human lifestyle. The lack of understanding and a sense of arrogant contempt towards all kinds of ancestral heritage in the name of modernization really imposed heavy burden on present day well being. The scope of this attitude impacted in a very broader sense. What we are coming across in this article is just a tiny spec of it.
Joint families are familiar to many people. Once upon a time almost all people used to be in macro families. Even though depending upon the countries and cultures some may not know the concept.
But the deep meaning, necessity and its essence is put forward in this article. We come across the actual intent of joint families and how they functions in reality. It also explains the cause for the majority of problems people are facing today.
Joint families are the group of people who share the same ancestral lineage. For example if a father has 3 sons. The families of three sons lives in the same house even after their marriage.
This cycle continues for generations. So the general range of members in a joint families constitutes from 10-25 members in a generation.
" Any individual in joint family usually couldn't dare to think of separation and ready to lose other tremendous benefits based on momentary conflicts and misunderstandings. As everyone would be aware of the single fact that United we stand, divided we fall "
Dynamics of joint families
When we look in to the dynamics of joint families the first thing that captures our attention is adequate amount of human resources. The moment we hear the word "human resources", our brain naturally remind us some business or software organizations.But I am talking about human resources in the sense of human well being. It is an undebatable fact that the well being of any human being is largely dependent on their early life stages.
It means the ability of an individual to flourish in his entire life is mostly decided on impacts he received between 1-20 years of age. By the age of 20 years, any individual given some special exceptions automatically develop their permanent behaviour towards majority aspects of life.
Their opinions, personalities, capacities, abilities and skills towards life are formed with firm stand. Keeping this crucial necessities of every individual's life, joint family concept is maintained.
So the moment a baby is born in a family, he/she will be taken care by the entire family members. The responsibility of raising kid is not solely left on parents. But everyone would take part in baby's upbringing.
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Prototype-1 |
This immense support and love from many people from same family naturally installs the required positivity in the child right from their birth. It creates tremendous positive impact on the child's personality.
Additional to that child also get the opportunity to know about different opinions, different kinds of people within the home itself. So joint families used to serve as a reflection of society. They can be called as mini society from children's perspective.
Their interactions with grandma, grandpa, mother, father, aunts, uncles (dad's siblings), cousins, siblings, relatives makes them expose towards different possibilities and personalities that exist in life.
Grandparents would entertain kids with their stories and playing indoor games etc. This grand parents and grand children duo is perfect than parents children combination. As both the parties used to get entertained in their own way.
Grandparents would tell bed time stories to children which includes understanding of both humour and values to the children. These kind of happenings would build a sense of security and strength in kids right from their childhood.
Which in turn enhance their knowledge and capabilities beyond sufficient levels. Also due to availability of multiple human resources, when a child makes a mistake there is always a backup source that used to pacify the child.
For example if the children get strict warnings from the parents on certain mistakes, either their grandparents, aunts or uncles will take them and make them understand the things in a smoother and soothing ways.
So this dual combination of strict and soothing versions on the same issue is an outstanding approach when it comes to dealing children. This is what it is lacking in present days nuclear/micro families.
Because either of the parents will be strict or either of them have that soft corner towards their children. They both create some negative outcomes. There are parents where one of them is strict and one of them is soft.
This too creates a problem because the child becomes biased towards a single parent with in short period of time and it may create the disturbances between the couple too . Also the efficiency in changing child's behaviour is also very less.
So the only best possible way for parents is to rotate the shift of the strict and softer versions between themselves. Which may create the balance in child. However this is not possible for majority of parents. So there is no qualitative alternate to the system in joint families when it comes to dealing with kids.
So far we have seen the advantages in dealing kids when it comes to the joint families. Now it comes the relationship matters. It would be exaggerating for many if they hear that there was no system of divorce in this culture.
But it's true, people were unaware of the divorce concept. As there used to be no necessity for it. I will explain the things that would create strong bond between the partners.
Unlike in micro families, people accustomed to spend time with almost all family members everyday in joint families. At the same time there would be sufficient amount of privacy for everyone.
In that process both husband and wife would get along with family members. As the work is also not like robotic 9-5 schedule as we have set up today, they would get considerate amount of leisure time to experience life apart from daily work.
In the process, by nature of the family type inevitably the separation between partners used to happen in a positive manner without their awareness. The privacy time would be sufficient enough.
Where as today in nuclear families the privacy time is considerably higher than enough levels. In the whole year, 24/7 husband and wife see their partners face each other.
No matter how much the other person is closer or the bond is stronger, humans easily get bored from other person when exposed all the time. So in joint families as the "together time" is very limited in a healthy manner, they used to not get any such lethargic emotions towards their partners.
I am not saying getting bored creates some huge difficulties in relationship but it does has it's impact on certain levels if they already have some other serious issues. Ofcourse It is an open fact that every couple in this world once in a while get differences between them.
It's not possible to maintain that ideal level of complete acceptance. But the beauty lies in how do they receive those differences either in constructive or destructive manner. That is all it matters.
In that context even if any disputes arise between wife and husband other family members would mediate and solve the issues. As third party mediation will be definitely effective given the mediators has some positive impact on both the partners.
With all these resources available and the healthy separation maintained in daily life without any awareness, there is no concept like divorce had evolved.
If at all the disturbances are at considerable level despite the given positive resources, maximum a wife used to do is to return to her home and take a short break for sometime. It's considered as most rare scenarios.
In that mean time both the partners used to get refreshed and used to feel the connection back with in the period of days. As I said it's would happen in very rare scenarios.
Even in today's micro families most couples go for alternatives like taking short break, counseling therapies, third party mediation to settle the issues rather than opting divorce.
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| Prototype-2 |
Because they are aware that it's huge burden for both partners and their kids to go through post divorce consequences. It effects an individual in broader aspects in his life.
Right from emotional stress to financial challenges one can see the bitter phase in almost all aspects of life. Adults themselves find it tough to overcome that stress, but children becomes the real permanent victims.
As their sensitivity due to the age factor, they couldn't digest that separation between their parents and it ultimately pushes them towards confusion in life. Which ultimately impacts their personality development.
Coming to general things few may get doubt that being with so many people also bring the differences in the same level. In that context the chances of an issue elevating to the extent of separation was almost negligible.
That's because every generation used to be fully aware of the set of "dharmas" (duties) that are defined for every role in a family. The authorities, responsibilities and duties for each and every role in a joint family is clearly instructed in every generation.
This knowledge is obtained from gurus and epics like Ramayana and Mahabharata. Those epics were not seen as some historical events but would be seen as practical guides to lead everyday life.
This transfer of knowledge among generations automatically accustomed to set up certain standards in every generation. The handling of any minor dispute is taken by senior individuals.
Grandparents would utilise their wisdom in solving disputes between any members of family. In the similar way every younger ones would have that respect for their wisdom and age. If there are no grandparents then the eldest person used to take the charge to keep the family united.
Any individual in joint family usually couldn't dare to think of separation and ready to lose other tremendous benefits based on momentary conflicts and misunderstandings. As everyone would be aware of the single fact that "United we stand, divided we fall".
The same large scale was also applied to the houses. The houses were big , the conventional house prototype is shown in picture.
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| Inner View |
Unlike today's construction style of utilisation of concrete, iron rods, marbles and other materials. The houses were built with natural resources like mud, woods, clay bricks, lime mortar etc.
The design of houses are engineered in a style so that to make the structure heat resistant. Also usage of materials along with design specialities would keep the houses cooler in summer and warmer in winter naturally.
I experienced the same in my previous home during my early childhood. Where as today there are many families who cannot live without the air-conditioning machines due to the effect of construction materials.
The materials like concrete and usage of iron rods doesn't provide any relief from the extreme temperatures rather they amplify the effects furthermore.
Moreover the usage of highly polished marble stones in building floors and stairs, restrooms really had cost many human lives including famous celebrities so far.
Our feet do need that friction with floor in order to gain grip and stability. Lacking of this minimum common sense making people to build highly polished smooth marble floors(including in restrooms) and stairs. Showcasing the modernization at the cost of precious life is pure foolishness.
In the old houses, number of rooms usually count upto 20-25 per house with a backyard. So the area used to be really big. Good amount of exposure towards sunlight and ventilation was common.
Yogic exercises in the name of prayer to sun "surya namaskar" would make them get exposed to sunlight to get the vitamin d. As most of them used to be pure vegetarians.
Also there would be a special area dedicated to make direct contact with earth. People accustomed to spend time in getting earth surface contact with their bare foot.
The same concept is also being studied by the modern technology and there are results are seen in improvements of an individual's overall well-being. That is because the earth's magnetic field helps human magnetic field to align better with the source.
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