How to handle mental stress effortlessly: A guide for Relationships, Family, Work, Covid and much more

Almost every family today having atleast one or more individuals who are suffering from mental health illnesses. It may be called as anxiety, depression in initial stages but has the capabilities to transform into advance mental disorders like ocd, schizophrenia, bpd, psychosis and so on when left untreated for longer periods. 

So the first priority should be given to prevent any such basic mental illnesses to enter into our brain. Even if they are in initial stages they should be treated well. By doing so we can exclude the severe illnesses in future. Any individual who is suffering from mental illnesses / some physical illnesses caused due to mental issues ultimately tells us that, the respective individual lacking some maturity to handle life. 

Those illnesses resembles the fact that the stacks of frustration and stress that got build up over time. "Efficiently handling situation"  involves a lot to cover about dynamics of maintaining good health. So let us look at those dynamics along with examples. This article is not about motivational stuff, nor it covers some fancy quotations it's completely about understanding the dynamics involved in our lives and how to use them.

I am not giving any health remedies to people who are experiencing advance levels of mental issues. They must approach professional medical help immediately. I am trying to give some suggestions and advices that will be helpful to maintain a healthy lifestyle. It will help in managing stress levels in a way better modes. 

So first you must understand the working of our own body and brain. If we set this right. You will acquire the ability to face any situation. So the stuff I'm going to share will help you, get to know about human dynamics. 

" We must be aware that unless some horrible incidents happened in their past, family members doens't behave abnormally. It is not the time to leave them, infact it is the time to cake care of them. If he/she behaving so, it indicates that they are helpless and urgently needs some medical help."

Relationship issues

Majority of people are experiencing extreme stress levels in two areas of their lives that is relationship stress and work stress. Unfortunately after being exposed to toxic environments for longer periods making them to destroy their own future.

Relationship has become trendy to an extent that even the people who are not that much interested into, is  checking in for the sake of bullying from society or by blindly following the society.

They just blindly get into the relationships without thinking about the different outcomes. The matured way of handling things is to able to see wide variety of outcomes in the end. Analysing our capabilities whether we can handle them or not. This is where most people commit mistakes. 

Because according to human emotions, Love stands at top place with respect to both the intensity and impacts. It's pretty much biological thing. No other human emotions can beat love when it comes to the intense nature.  It means that whatever be the outcomes we experience especially in relationship issues those impacts will hit us hard. 

Whether it is positive or negative. Positive means extreme levels of happiness, negative means extreme levels of depression. That is also reason we can observe people who goes through breakups or love failures, either one of them or both get into deep depression and a kind of shock. 

It takes years to get out of it and some individuals also slip into severe mental states like schizophrenia, psychosis, suicidal tendencies etc . That is because they are not able to see the different possible outcomes before entering into relationships. 

They treat it as that everything goes well. I will be happy, everyone will be happy, a happy ending. It's not some imaginary movie we are living in. It's the bitter reality of life we are living in. So when stuff doesn't work according to their imagination that very moment their brain gets a solid shock with great impact. 

When it happens it takes years to get back to normal states. The same happens with multiple relationships. Our brain and our body cannot handle multiple emotional intensities from different people. Our brain gets confused , irritated and what not. It just drains our whole energy towards others. We end up losing Charm in life and find nothing much to achieve in our lives. 

So people should not think their future as some fancy disneyland assumptions and dive into relationships. Because it has potentiality to give some deadly  blows that can turn our lives up and down. 

So for the sake of entertainment or for society or to behave trendy or even if it's genuine (because you don't know how genuine and authentic the other person is) entering into relationships will be having its own severe consequences. So after attaining some maturity and financial security it's better to move towards genuine marriages.

Work stress

 The second most effecting area when it comes to the mental illnesses is professional work. Many people today are very busy in trying to improve their lives not in the form of health but in the form of name, financial security, fame and luxuries. In the process it's becoming tough to take some time and look at the way they are stressing their body and mind beyond the limits. 

I have come across many incidents where due to unprofessional work cultures, employees work through hectic schedules. This kind of incidents happens because of two reasons. In the first case the employee himself will be unaware of the hectic work stress he is going through. 

It happens because due to lack of awareness on self care part, poor handling of his own body and mind, being unaware of exploitative nature of corporate world etc will make him work through that toxic environments over longer periods. 

As this happens the stress levels and energy drains will occur consistently without awareness. Ultimately when they hit the peak levels he/she will suddenly starts experiencing anxiety and other illnesses. They can't work anymore and even the so called corporate management won't comes to their rescue. 

The second case is when the employee will be aware of situations they are going through but however they cannot act towards it because of financial assistance or some other factors. Due to those reasons they gradually neglects and ignores their health. Which ultimately takes heavy toll on them. 

In this case the employee must understand that a single individual cannot handle multiple projects or tasks simultaneously. Some people just complain about it and forgets. Obviously management will not hear. But this is where they need to realise that unless they take some positive actions towards their health they end up experiencing mental illnesses. 

So if there is inevitable situation to work there, they should be enough aware and wisely skip the work or use other resources for the sake of their own health. Being too much genuine and authentic also makes us exploitative by someone especially in corporate world.

Family stress 

Here comes the family zoner. The most sensitive yet effective area where if we cannot handle the situations with certain awareness and maturity. The possibilities of escalations in our health happens very quickly. Because after relationships it's the second most effective emotional area. 

Here we need to understand that the approach you apply in offices or on some other outer people are not going to work when it comes to family. Because we are going to live with them on daily basis, no matter how many quarrels or disturbances happens. 

So here rather than behaving aggressively we must learn how to handle the different scenarios that happens with different people within our family. The below example can be converted for every realtion with in the family, father-son, siblings, husband-wife, parents-children etc.

In this example let us take two siblings. Elder and younger . Elder one somehow undergone abuses or some disturbing situations in his environments, be it school or home or anywhere. So  Elder always used to abuse younger one. 

Automatically younger one starts effected emotionally and as time passes it turns into hatred and frustration. So when it happens there are two choices for the younger one. 

Either to let that frustration piles up within himself. If that happens eventually one fine day it bursts out which will inevitably lead to horrible mental illnesses . Or the second is to stop the frustration levels piling up and start working towards a constructive future. Former one happens if he keeps on blaming his elder brother's previous actions for his bad state. 

If he let his brain to feed on such toxic emotions, Formal case gets activated. Because as long as he trust that some other person is responsible for his bad state, his mind won't allow him to think about the remedies or ways that help him out. Because he is not ready to take responsibility . As it keeps on feeding on venemous emotions.

But in the second case, to get that activated the younger one should forgive his brother and move on. The moment he removes that feeling of someone is responsible for his bad state. Then he starts working towards his betterment of future . He activates the scope of working. Some people find it hard to forgive that easily the opposite Person. If that is the case then they should find the root cause for their behaviours. Why they were behaving like that. 

In this case when his younger brother starts finding about root cause. He comes to know that his elder brother has gone through all bad phase. That is the reflection of his  behaviour towards him. I am not trying to justify that if someone bothers you, you must suffer others. But it's pretty much biological factor and built in attribute for humans. When a person undergoes some humiliation or sadness and if he cannot revert back that instantly. Our brain starts channelizing that towards some other direction. 

Because it won't let that frustration to be kept inside itself. So rather than judging it as some behavioural issue. We must accept that it's a biological factor to do so. We immediately vent out our frustration. 

That is why when we starts analysing our behaviours when our mood is not that good, We automatically tends to behave in the same way towards people who are closer to us. All of us do that every day. It's all about various levels of intensities. 

So in this case if his younger brother comes to know that something bad happened to his brother. Then the chances of forgiving will be easy. He may also fix his elder brother's behaviour by taking him to some professional medical sources. 

So whenever a problem arises we should not always think only from our perspective. We must habituate the behaviour of thinking from other person's perspective too. That is when we can able to see the actual reality.

Sometimes even the other person doesn't want to suffer others but when reality kicks in, they will become helpless and end up doing the same again. They just work as some programmed robot. 

So you must be aware that unless some horrible incidents happened in their past, family members doens't behave abnormally. It is not the time to leave them, infact it is the time to cake care of them. 

If he/she behaving so, it indicates that they are helpless and urgently needs some medical help. So when we start handling the things in this way, The stress will be greatly reduced and our brain stops building up frustration. Ultimately protecting us from horrible health issues. 

So in this case If the younger brother starts forgiving the elder brother. Two steps will happen. First step is the frustration stops building up and the second is he starts working towards constructive solution rather than feeding on toxic emotions. 

Also another aspect which has the ability to discuss in family issues is holding grudges for very little things. For example based up on some incident a father got very angry at his son and scolded him for his inefficiency and told the stuff that is very disturbing for the son. Here the main area to be noticed is every human when in extreme levels of anger loses his logical part of brain working. 

In the flow the father might have said very disturbing things. But the son also needs to have certain patience and maturity to handle that situation. Because the anger is momentary. The father may not mean that exactly. As the time passes it will come down. But if the son strictly hold the  grudge on father for his momentary abusive behaviour, it will only represents his inefficient way of handling things.

Because thinking that the one word that being said in extreme levels of anger has capability to destroy the whole history of beautiful memories together for years is utter nonsense. It is just like constructing a beautiful building and after completing major portion, destroying the whole building again because of finding a new faulty brick. Does it makes sense. 

So even if the closer people to us, whom we know as genuine people sometimes do commit mistakes , that doesn't mean that everything that has acquired till now in the form of memories, their caring all should go in vain. So we have to increase our patience levels and forgiveness towards the family. 

personality stress

Humans experiences some personality issues. It might be self esteem, unable to perform good in studies or work, less confidence levels etc.

example1

Let us start with achieving goals. For example a graduated student just started to explore the jobs by attending various interviews. We see many people who worry a lot when they fail in interviews. They find it difficult to go through rejections. 

So the job seeker must always have one single approach before attempting an interview. He must always think that I will do my best to crack the interview. But at the same time I will be okay even if I do not get selected. 

This kind of awareness and acceptance on two different outcomes before attending an interview will make him/her stronger. It gives them capacity to face any outcome. Either it is positive or negative. 

Just accepting the facts and being aware of two possible outcomes will makes us prepared to face any situation. Because even if we get some negative feedback as we have already prepared ourselves to accept it, our brain doesn't gets effected much and we start preparing to other interview. 

example2

The second example is setting up goals. We often tend to see people setting up different goals in their daily lives. Let us take example of fitness goal. For example a girl decides to start implementing a diet plan for her health (You can take any other example you can relate to). 

So for example she has planned for 90 days. She commited to follow the diet. The initial days will go smoothly and effectively but the real problem starts when the days are progressing. She suddenly feels so much stress and urge to divert the plan for sometime. When she alters the plan or fails to implement the plan. She gets disappointed. The stress starts getting amplified. Issues like self confidence, self esteem starts their impact on her. 

The more attempts she fails the worse it will get. So this kind of approach is not recommended when achieving goals. Rather the girl should not keep any particular number of days as course. She must only keep one thing in mind. Today I will follow the diet. Just forget about tomorrow, day after tomorrow or for 90days. Just today I will strictly follow the diet plan. By doing that she reduces unnecessary stress on her brain for future. 

Which in turn helps her to successfully follow the plan. Everyday she must think that today I will follow the diet. As she does that, without her awareness, she automatically attains the consistency. As there is no specific goals in her brain, even if she slips any of the day her brain won't get the same level of disappointment. she again starts the diet from very next day. It will be pretty easier to handle. 

example3

The third example is depending on others opinions. Appreciation from others do enhance our self esteem. But that doesn't mean that we must keep on receiving appreciation from others to withstand our self esteem. 

This fine line between both approaches needs to be known well. People must find that balance. Majority of people consistently depends on others to get an idea of their own personality. In the process they keep some expectations. They want everyone should like them. 

But in reality there will be incidents that won't go in their way. When that happens their self esteem, confidence issues surfaces and troubles them. How can some random person opinions on us can change our capabilities and personalities. So people should stop being compulsive dependents on others. 

example4

The fourth example is about past disturbing incidents. People go through some unwanted experiences in the early stages of their lives. For example if a child doesn't get emotional support from parents in her childhood. She tends to develop some over protective nature towards others. 

It happens sub consciously because of commands from brain that inspired by past incidents. She becomes obsessive towards others and will always have feelings that she may lose the other person. But when she observe this behaviour she do not know why she is behaving in that way. She often doesn't like the way she is behaving with others. 

That is the reason why we must take some time frequently and try to look within ourselves. As she went through improper treatment in her childhood, subconsciously her brain starts forming some opinions on others. It comes to the conclusion that no matter how close people can be they can still ill treat her. So her brain constantly pokes her in that way subconsciously. 

This is the time we must look into reality. There is no 100% possibility that every person she get alongs with treats her the way their parents did. So implementation of past outdated approach towards everyone will definitely won't work. When she starts being aware and convinces herself of relaity and facts, her brain gets satisfied gradually and will stop irritating her with obsessive nature. Our brain just needs that assurance from us. 

Also some people gets disturbed alot because of the past incidents. No matter how much they try to forget the incidents it keeps on haunting them consistently. It happens because they always see the things through the layers of good/bad, positive/negative etc. Their brain keeps on labelling the things into strict versions. 

But everyone needs to understand that without those good/bad, happy/sad, positive/negative incidents we are incomplete of what we are now. So rather than seeing them through filters. Just accept them as incidents which helped you to evolve better. 

We must stop seeing those incidents through filters rather we must see them as building blocks to our present personality. They definitely helped  us someway to our very own existence, that we are now/we become in future. 

For example if we take a person named Smith. The very existence of present smith becomes pointless if we remove those past incidents he had gone through. So we must be thankful for all the stuff that happened to us. We must be able to take both good and bad incidents in same way. When we do this they no longer worry us and stops being as obstacles to lead our present life. 

Covid stress

This pandemic period also freaking out majority of people. They are clueless on how to deal with this issue. So i am going share few tips to stay out of it. The first thing people needs to be remembered is the more far they keep away the news about covid the more secure they feel. Yes! unconsciously many people surfing through unnecessary covid news that are surfacing all over social media. Which doesn't help us anyway. 

So avoid excessive, unnecessary feeds. Only be aware of essential information. The second is take precautions. Using masks, sanitizers, maintaining distance. Also when coming home from outside consume warm water along with salt, turmeric. Rotate that water or gargle in your mouth enabling it to reach all parts and spill it out. 

Then later consume the same warm water in small amounts. Also consuming small amounts of ginger, garlic, neem will help. Do this activities. It will protect you at the same time you can feel secured mentally.

Remedies for people 

For the people who are struggling in studies, apart from studies they should also be aware of certain dynamics involved in college stuff. They need to be aware of every possibility around their life, find them and utilise them for their welfare. 

I have written an article on college dynamics and they can see here. Also the people who struggle to express themselves or if they have those communication problems , they can see articles on communication confessions both part 1 and Part 2. Understanding dynamics of different areas in our lives will enables us to excel. 

For the people who know about these stuff and want to advance to higher levels of consciousness. Start practicing avoidance of compulsive entanglements. I will give small example. 

Suppose you got a brand new smart phone. The moment people get such things they become happy and starts enjoying the product. It's normal. But gradually they starts attaching to the phone on compulsive modes. It means they cannot live their life without their phone. Which becomes cause for suffering. So we must start undoing that. 

There is nothing wrong in feeling happy and using the smartphone for our necessities. But we must be enough aware not to become compulsively dependent on it. We should be in a state that even if we lose our phone it should not bother us for longer periods. 

Grief will be there, but the problem arises when our brain starts feeding on it for longer periods. That happens whenever we become compulsive on things. Because whatever that is physical in nature will perish one day. So having such awareness will exclude us from unnecessary stress levels. 

Every emotional and mental turmoil occurs because of our ineffective or lack of awareness to deal with our own body, mind and energies. Also our body and mind are interconnected very well. 

Even if you are mentally healthy. Straining out your physical body beyond your limits will also enables the scope of suffering from mental health issues.  So first we need to know the dynamics involved in our very body,mind and energies. It's like user manual to handle our life. Suppose if you drive a car without user manual you prone to accidents right. Similarly we must know the working of our very body mind and emotions.

For the people who experience or exhibit abnormal behaviours or experiences like illusions ,voices , unnecessary blaming, abuses, They must be taken to medical help immediately. Because when those people left untreated, within short time their brain goes out of control and it becomes tough to handle them. 

So after getting proper medical help they must concentrate on natural alternatives to relieve stress like meditation, yoga, yoga exercises which help them immensely in many ways. It also helps during withdrawl period of drugs. 

Also the more they divert their energies towards the other areas the sooner they will heal. So to get some instant relief and relaxation get a copy of autobiography of yogi. It's not about any positivity or lectures on life. But it's a simple autobiography that involves both humour and valuable information. Which keeps us engaged. 

You can contact yss-srf/Isha/Ananda any of these non profit organizations which helps us in knowing about dealing ourselves rather than dealing outer world at first place. You can mail them your concerns they will guide you further. Many people stay away when they see the term spiritual, actually it's not about spirituality it's about the science to be aware of our own selves and how to use them efficiently. 

Also to get some quality sleep, people must do enough physical work. Because unless this physical body strains out. Our brain doesn't think that we need some sleep. So people who are  troubling to get sleep, they must start working on physical areas, Ofcourse within the limits. Keeping away mobiles and laptops before one hour of sleep is mandatory for all the human beings. 

Because this access towards dynamic information on internet will makes our brain hyperactive. It takes time for our brain to settle down the intensity. People who use mobiles/gadgets till last minute before they sleep may think that they are getting sleep instantly. But they don't get that quality sleep. Which makes the things worse very soon. 

Conclusion

This combination of medical treatment plus natural ways will do wonders. Chances of patients  getting back to normal lives and normal people maintaining their health becomes highly possible. As treatments also got advanced in many fields it would be better for a person to utilise all the resources available.

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